The first friend that got engaged I knew it was coming, but the second kind of blind sided me. It's the second friend I'm a little more jealous of. I've known that friend for most of my life, and she's my best friend. We're really similar as far as our sense of humor, we can tell each other anything and everything and expect no judgment. I can ask her something and get an honest opinion or advice, and I do the same for her. She's been with her now-fiance for a few years and they've talked about marriage before. She's always wanted to wait until she's finished with all her school endeavors, and she recently applied to grad school.
I guess my jealousy lies in the part of life that makes me feel like I'm being left behind. While everyone has been out meeting their boyfriends/girlfriends/fiances/husbands/wives, I've been saving all my money to travel around Europe. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade in those travel experiences for being a wife and stuff, but I guess I wish I had focused more in the past on finding a guy that is as in love with traveling as I am.
I've been criticized in the past by a few friends for spending my money on traveling, and an ex of mine told me it was a total waste of time and money, but I just feel that there has to be a guy out there that wants to take a yearly trip to Europe, and after we've seen all those countries we'll take yearly trips to South America. Someone that doesn't think it's a waste of time to volunteer in Tanzania and go on a safari in Kenya. Someone who wants to go to Asia and Australia and just let go and learn about another culture. That's the part that is so attractive to me about traveling: learning about other cultures, seeing the historical sites of places I've only read about, imagining what it must have been like to see gladiators in the Colosseum in Rome, etc. I've been to 10 countries and I don't want to stop there! I want to see 50 countries and all 50 states in my lifetime...and I want to do all that with someone equally passionate about it.
I guess the jealousy is mostly that she's found a guy that wants to be with her the rest of her life. She likes traveling, too, and he's into it. He probably knows all her ups and downs as well as I do by now, and he still wants to spend the rest of his life with her and whatever quirky habits she may bring into the situation. I just wish I could meet someone who makes me happy like he makes her happy. I'm so glad she's found someone like that, and I hope that my guy is just around the corner.
I've been looking at buying a house or a condo lately, and I'd really love to make such an investment. Most days I'm really excited about it. Then there's days like today, when I realize that making such a big investment might mean I can't travel for a while. It's the thought of finally settling down that freaks me out. I just don't make enough money to pay a mortgage, utilities, save money for the future, and save money to travel. I'm hoping things will change so I can have it all, but that's a pretty famous saying, right? "You can't have it all!" Well, watch me, because settling down doesn't mean settling on the life you have right now. Right?
So, here's an early New Year's toast, or maybe a Thanksgiving toast:
I'm thankful for all the amazing people in my life, my family, friends, and the new addition I'm impatiently waiting to meet. I'm thankful for everyone who has ever been there for me through my toughest times. I'm thankful my two friends have found guys that treat them well and want to share the rest of their lives with. I'm thankful for having the chance to have seen 10 countries and have amazing stories and pictures to bring home with each one. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!
So, with that said, here's to moving forward!
I bet 10 minutes after writing this I'll be sulking around trying to figure out how to afford everything and my next vacation. :)
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