She's the Boss?

Today's blog is by my first guest blogger, M-. 

Emma mentioned to me earlier in the week that recently, she noticed a lot of her guy friends were quickly becoming involved with very domineering women (at least, on the relationship side of things - I don't think she can speak to what happens in the bedroom), and wondered what my thoughts were on the situation.

My response?

It's an epidemic.

I've been noticing it quite a bit myself - in fact, one of my best friends (we call him NorthSide on my blog) is involved in just that type of relationship.  He's since moved in with the girl (or, more aptly, she moved in with him, since he pays for the apartment himself) and has taken to adhering to her every whim (which are frequent and often absolutely crazy).  For instance, she has to get up at 6:30 in the morning and go to work, but she will not do so unless he gets up with her (this girl is 23, mind you, and he doesn't have to be at work until 9).  Otherwise, she threatens to quit her job.  He's no longer allowed to come out on the town with anyone (me especially; candidcupid readers know why) and the one time he did, she went on an especially tyrannical rampage that ended with her trying to make the cab company he had called the night before (the only number she didn't recognize in his phone, which she went through in the middle of the night) admit they were in fact a girl he had hooked up with. 

Seriously.

I don't know what the draw is.  Yes, she's semi-attractive and I'm sure she's...generous...with her physical affection, but it's nothing compared to all the negative.  She hates me for some obvious (and not so obvious) reasons, first and foremost of which is that I, quite frankly, won't put up with anything of the sort.  Don't get me wrong; I'm far from a misogynist.  I certainly don't want to be in charge.  The idea that there has to be a sense of "control" in a relationship is preposterous to begin with, but if you're into that sort of thing A) loosen the hell up and B) make sure you see each other as equals.  I refuse to be led around by the proverbial brass ring in the nose.  I'm sure quite a few females (especially after reading my blog) would be quick to say it's because of my "playboy" lifestyle, but that's little more than a throwaway label. As I mentioned before, it isn't that I'm against my lack of control, I just don't see a reason for any in general.  There are, of course, lines and boundaries that have to be respected.  I remember a particularly drawn-out fight I had with an old girlfriend when she wanted to go to a fraternity Halloween party. 

As a "slutty" Indiana Jones.

And as one of two girls who would be there, the other of which was her best friend (and career sorostitute.  Urbandictionary it, kids).

I said "no." 

The resulting argument was long and drawn out, and ended in tears (hers, not mine), but ultimately, she ended up not going.  Similarly, another girlfriend I had requested that I avoid a certain downtown venue where one of her friends tended bar.  She said the girl had made it a habit to make a pass at every boyfriend she'd had since sixth grade (how this made her a "friend" I'll never know) and that she had a particularly keen eye for me (and just so happened, what with her dark brown hair, darker brown eyes, and phenomenal figure, to be just my type).  And respected her wishes (until we broke up, that is.  And yes, before you ask, I did.  Sue me). 

There is no room for this sort of thing in the bella vita. 

Drink some wine.  Make some love.  Enjoy each other for who you are.

You'd be amazed how everything else just seems to fall right into place.

M-

(Care to read more of M's musing?  Then check out his blog over at  http://candidcupid.wordpress.com/ or follow him on Twitter)