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| This may look like nothing to you, but it is actually making my mouth water! I want. |
Before I decided to quit smoking I made sure to mentally prepare myself by looking up the withdrawl symptoms. I know what you're thinking, they're just cigarettes, people don't get withdrawl symptoms! I thought the same. I'm here to tell you it can happen. I know everyone is built differently, so maybe my symptoms aren't as bad as someone else's (they're pretty manageable), and maybe someone else won't get any symptoms at all, but the list of possible things that could happen because you quit smoking is almost as daunting as what could happen because you started smoking. Well, not really. But it's a long list.
First, I've read that it takes 8-12 weeks for a person to become comfortable of their new lifestyle sans cigarettes. Excuuuuuse me? That's a long ass time. Today it has been officially one week, and, mind you, the longest week of my entire life. Also, the first two weeks are the most important in quitting. If someone is going to fail at quitting smoking, it's likely they'll fail within the first two weeks. So, I'm halfway there. However, last night's rant about dating/love/relationships/Grey's Anatomy was almost a breaking point (I'll get there).
So here are the mental, physical, and emotional symptoms, and the highlighted ones are what I experience the most...
- Tingling in the hands and feet (none for me!)
- Cravings to smoke (always)
- Fatigue (I wouldn't say so, I think I'm just tired from regular things)
- Insomnia (I frequently stay up until 2 or 3am anyway...wait until Grey's Anatomy rant for explanation)
- Inability to concentrate (no)
- Dry mouth (yes)
- Gas/stomach pain (no)
- Sore throat, cough and cold-like symptoms (this just began yesterday, but it might be a real cold)
- Postnasal drip (no)
- Tightness in the chest (sometimes)
- Vagueness (I think this in itself is vague...)
- Irritability (absolutely)
- Mental confusion (no)
- Anxiety (no)
- Depression (no)
- Increased appetite & weight gain (yes...and it makes me sad)
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| Yikes... |
I usually stay up pretty late. I have no regular sleeping habit. I used to go to bed early, then college came along and I was consistently up until 2-4am. Fairly recently, I got in a habit of going to bed before midnight every night, and then I would wake up nice and early and get plenty done during the day. Well, not anymore! Now I go to bed any time from 11pm-3am and it's pretty annoying. So, what do I do that whole time? I read or watch movies. Grey's Anatomy has been a show I've liked from the beginning, and I still keep up with it. Typically, when I'm up late, I start watching a TV series if it's on Netflix, and I continue until I'm done with the series or caught up to the current episode. I started Grey's Anatomy from season one almost two months ago and now I'm on season four.
Sometimes Meredith Grey can be really annoying. I'll hand it to her, I certainly don't have problems like she does with the overbearing mother and abandonment issues from her father and blah blah blah. Right, I don't blame the girl for not trusting Derek, aka McDreamy. But he's hot, and he loves her, and even someone with the biggest trust issues in the entire world could probably see that he actually loves her and isn't just being a jerk. And I don't think Meredith needs to constantly tell herself she's "dark and twisty," because we don't encourage people to tell themselves they're fat. It's just not good for you to think that way all the time. Well, then Derek goes and kisses Rose. Rose is cute. She's nice, funny, and seems like she really deserves a great guy like Derek. But Derek can't get over Meredith. Now, we're supposed to feel oh so bad for Meredith Grey who can't trust a dude who kissed some chick when THEY WEREN'T TOGETHER in the first place because of her own insecurities and issues. Give me a break! PS - Meredith's sister, Lexi, just came into the show this season.
I know, it's just a TV show. I promise I only think about it while watching the show, once while extremely hormonal in the car, and while writing this blog. : )
"I just don't get it! I want a cigarette so bad, I don't need one, so why can't I convince myself I don't want one? Now I can't ever date a smoker because then I'll just fall right back into the habit. That narrows down the whole dating pool now, doesn't it? Well, it might actually open up the dating pool because a guy might be more inclined to talk to me knowing I don't smoke. Or something. Let's face it, Emma, you're not going to be meeting a guy any time soon. Mainly because you're afraid to go out of the house for any reason other than working or the gym because you don't trust yourself not to buy cigarettes! Emma! You idiot! You don't even trust yourself!
What's wrong with me? I don't trust myself? Obviously, they say shit like 'if you don't like yourself, you can't expect someone else to like you,' and I'm sure it's the exact same way with trust. F**k. This is just f***ing great. I hate this song. I hate Meredith Grey. Seriously, what a b****! Derek loves her, and she won't just love him back and be a normal human being. Then she's going to be all sulky and sad because he's with Rose, when she had about a million chances to be with the perfect guy while there are some girls out there, like me, that doesn't have even one chance with a great guy! NOT EVEN ONE! F**k Meredith Grey!"
I then drove in silence for about two minutes, and then I replayed my entire conversation with myself inside my head and started laughing. It was pretty hilarious how absurd I was. But, I guess it makes for a good story for very close friends and strangers, right?
Well, I'm off to work out because I keep eating. On the bright side, breathing during workouts is getting much easier, and working out is the only thing that makes me hate cigarettes!
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