As I'm sure all of you know, yesterday was Valentine's Day. Since I'm not currently dating anyone, I expected to have a terrible day. However, as it got closer and closer to the day, I realized, there's absolutely no reason to have a terrible day on Valentine's Day! In the past, it would have totally bothered me being alone. I found it a little disgusting when I worked at a bridal store and bunches of flowers and chocolates would be delivered to girls at work. Um, hello, some of you live with your Valentine, is that really necessary? No, it's not, unless you just want to have some competition to see who gets the biggest bouquet, as if that means your boyfriend/fiance/husband loves you more or less than your friend with the bigger or smaller bouquet. I just don't need all that.
Anyway, every year when I was working in a big store like that, I'd watch girls get these bouquets and cards and chocolates and whatever. One of the years I had a boyfriend, but we broke up just over a week before Valentine's Day. So, of course, I had this whole idea in my head that he was going to send me flowers at work and ask me to take him back. I'd tell him it was a kind gesture, and then maybe we could go on a date after work or something, and then we wouldn't date again and I'd say, "We broke up for a reason!" None of that ever happened. But, every single year I'd let my imagination get the best of me and I'd think of some guy that I went out with once or twice that might have flowers sent to my work. To this day, only one boyfriend has ever actually given me flowers at work. He delivered the flowers himself, when he picked me up from work to take me on a date. That was our 4th or 5th date. We were 19. I never received flowers at work again.
So, yes, when I was working in that type of environment I'd feel bad. However, now I'm working in a smaller store, and today it was just me and one other girl. I'm not going to lie, I had a pretty bomb ass day. I got sooo much stuff done it was kind of ridiculous. I was feeling really great about how productive we were, and the stuff we accomplished today was not only good for business today, but good for business in the future. Sure, I've said in the past that I enjoy this job but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but while I apply for careers I'm going to stay at this job and do the best I can and try to excel at it. Anyway, it was a good day at work.
All day it was just another day to me. There was absolutely no feeling bad about being single and there was no jealousy over someone else getting flowers. Don't get me wrong, I'm a total romantic (even though sometimes I try to deny it and claim, "I'm not some cheesy girl," I really am). I thought of 5-10 guys that might possibly be interested in sending me flowers at work today. Of course, none of them did. It's not a huge deal. For once, I didn't allow myself to get disappointed from my imagination. If any of those guys had gotten me flowers it would have been weird anyway, especially since I don't really want to date any of them!
I had this great day yesterday, and Monday was really great. I have a feeling the week is going to continue this way, and there's just something inside me that is excited. I have no idea what I'm excited for, and I don't really have anything specific to be excited about...I'm just excited! Maybe it's because I'm not so stressed out, which is probably because I've been spending a lot of time alone, working out, writing, reading, or sometimes just watching a movie with some wine. I'm so much more relaxed not dealing with everyone's problems all the time, which in turn creates more problems for me. I'm almost to a point in my life where I'm ready to go out and start meeting guys again. A few months ago, any guy I would have met or considered dating would have probably been totally horrible for me, but now I think I can choose someone better. I think I can choose a guy that's not going to annoy me or break my heart (but I'm attempting to knock on wood as I type this).
I know it's been quite a while since I last posted, and I constantly say I'm going to post more, then I bail again. The fact is, I have plenty of time to write and post blogs, I just thought I ran out of interesting topics since my search for a guy ended for a while. But, I think now I'm going to just write about whatever I want and feel like writing in the meantime. After all, this blog is about my whole life!
Oh, and Monday was my one month anniversary for being smoke-free. I've been nicotine and cigarette free for a whole month! I'm so proud of myself...and also craving a cigarette...but I've started to get disgusted by the smell of cigarettes so I don't actually want one bad enough to give into my cravings. Yay me!
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