Rude people suck!

I'll describe myself to you. I have dark brown curly hair, side swept bangs that I straighten, a fair complexion, freckles, and I'm about 5'4". I have blue eyes. I have a bigger than average chest. I usually wear heels to work, and they're usually at least 3".   I just like wearing heels. This is all a customer judged me on.

He came into the store, told me what he needed (I can't give any more details without giving away where I work), and I had to take down some basic information. So, here's how this scenario went:

Me: Hi! What brings you in today?
Customer: I need to _____________.
Me: OK! (grab the paperwork for this type of request) What's your name?
Customer: (gives name)
Me: Phone number?
Customer: (gives phone number)
Me: Great, and then I just need your e-mail. Customer: ___ ____ bike at _____ dot com.
Me: (writing out e-mail, spell "bike" correctly)
Customer: Wow, you spelled "bike" right.
Me: Excuse me?
Customer: You're smarter than I thought you were going to be.
Me: Well, I did graduate from college, so I'm glad my ability to spell a first grade word impresses you.

Seriously? I hardly said anything to him, I didn't stumble over my words, I didn't use "like," or "um," or anything like that. I don't understand why he thought I wasn't going to be intelligent when he walked in. I'm totally offended. I told this story to one of my friends, and he told me I'm too defensive and not to sweat the small stuff.

Ok, maybe it's not that big of a deal. Maybe I am being too defensive about it. But still, it was rude. I would never tell a stranger their level of intelligence surprised me. I would never just assume someone is ignorant or stupid right away. Sure, I've found plenty of people to be ignorant and/or stupid, but they've generally given me a reason to think so. Maybe I am being too defensive. Maybe I shouldn't sweat the small stuff, but when someone is rude to you, sometimes it just sticks with you. It's there for a while. Maybe I'll think of it again if he comes back, and then I'll be upset all over again. Who knows. I guess I don't know where I'm going with all this, and I just needed to vent a little about a jerk I encountered today. :)

Erik: Part 2

I felt more of a friendly attachment to Erik.  I invested so much time into helping him that I never realized he was growing attached to me in a different way.  Eventually, it would be time to move the relationship farther along, if you know what I mean.  I wasn’t concerned, we didn’t have a ton of opportunity for it anyway.

I obviously wasn’t making him happy.  I think he had the maturity level of a teenage girl, which is why he dated another girl that was only 18-years-old, while he was dating me.  I guess on a day off from work, if I was in school, he’d be out with this other girl.  He’d also be having sex with her.

One night, he got wasted at a bar and made out with a girl his own age.  I was pissed, but I let it go because he was drunk.  Another night, he got wasted and stumbled over to the other girl’s apartment, where he had sex with her and cried and told me the next night in the parking lot of the diner when my friend and I were leaving to go home.  Like I said, I didn’t have much more than friendly feelings for him, but either way, we were close.  I couldn’t imagine why he would want to hurt me, even after he told me he was in love with me (I’m laughing just thinking about it).  It didn’t make sense.  He asked if I still cared about him, and I said, “I don’t know, I guess I can’t just stop caring about someone, but I don’t even want to look at you right now.  We’re done, never talk to me again,” as I started to walk away.  He grabbed my wrist and said, “No, don’t do this, give me another chance.”

“Give you another chance?  Another chance to f*** it all up again?  This is isn’t the first time you’ve fooled around behind my back, I’m not giving you another chance.  If there’s so many better girls out there, go ahead and f*** them all, I have better things to do with my time than deal with this, you make me sick.”
“Please, Emma, don’t do this, I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry.”
“Maybe you should have thought about how sorry you’d be before you did it.”
“Just kiss me and you’ll see that I only want you!”
“Kiss you?  You expect me to kiss you?  Are you f***ing kidding me?  Honestly, all I want to do is punch you in the face!”
“Do it, then.  I deserve it.”
“No, I’m not going to actually do it, I’m just saying that’s how much I hate you right now.”
“So punch me then!”
“No!”
“I deserve it!” And without any more thought, I made a fist with my right hand and swung at his left eye, throwing all my weight into it.  It hurt me a little, so I shook out my hand and said, “Good bye, Erik,” and he yelled, “You f***ing b***h!  I can’t believe you did that!  You don’t hit the ones you love!”
“Exactly!” I yelled before slamming my car door shut and driving away.  My friend and I laughed the entire way home.  Ok, I'll admit it, I did cry a little bit because my feelings were hurt. 

On paper, he did most things right.  He said sweet things, he never forced situations, he randomly bought me flowers, we rarely argued (unless he was cheating on me), and I felt so much progress was being made with his studies.  I felt like I was making a difference in someone’s life.  I encouraged him to get his GED, which I found out he did not long after we broke up.  

As much as it hurt that he would hurt my feelings by cheating on me, I was really happy he did that.  It gave me a legitimate reason to break up with him and move on, and it was a reason that he couldn’t ever come up with a valid argument for.  He would have broken up with me if I did the same thing.  However, the difference between us is that even though I didn’t want to stay in the relationship but was too scared to come up with a bogus reason to end it, I still would have never, ever cheated on him.

Erik: Part 1

When we started our senior year, my friend Stephanie and I would always go to the same diner and do our homework or study, eat an after school snack, and smoke cigarettes.  There were other students there doing the same thing, and even though we weren’t 18 no one ever asked any questions.  We went to the same grade school, but different high schools, which enabled us to make friends from both schools since this diner was a central location for either school.

It just happened that we both had a half day on the same day, so we were at the diner earlier than usual.  It was a nice, sunny day out, so most of our friends decided to spend the time outside.  However, we were bookworms and quizzing each other in our different classes or talking about photography.  It was really nice to be in similar classes as someone from a different school; we were able to explain things in different ways to each other and it was a big help on our tests.

Since we were at the diner earlier than usual, we were the only ones there other than this one guy eating and drinking coffee.  Honestly, I didn’t notice him until he kept staring at me.  He was in the booth behind Stephanie, and sitting on the side opposite me, so eye contact was always possible.  I locked eyes with him a few times as he was staring at me, and I lost concentration on my studying.

“Please stop staring,” I said out of nowhere, confusing Stephanie.  She turned around, saw him, and laughed.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help looking at beautiful things,” he said.

I made a disgusted noise, shook my head, and focused on Psychology.  He kept smiling at me, so I said, “Dude, you’re being really f***ing creepy,” while Stephanie kept laughing.  He laughed, and said, “I can’t help but smile because I know one day you’ll be with me.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said, one day, you’re gonna be my girl.”
“I really doubt that.  You look like you’re 30.”
“Aw, that’s harsh, I’m 22.  You don’t like older guys?”
“I don’t like creepy older guys.”
“I’m not creepy, I’m confident.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“See, you don’t realize it, but you’re flirting with me and leading me on, you think you’re being mean.”
“I don’t think I’m being mean, I could say a lot worse.”
“Anyway, let me guess, you’re 18 and waiting to finish high school?”
“Too bad for you, I’m only 17,” I said, thinking this would shut him up.
“That’s fine.  I can wait.”
“OK buddy, you do that,” I said, trying to focus again on studying.

He stood up, walked over to me and said, “I really wish you’d consider going on a date with me.”
“You do realize that I’m 17 and I live with parents who would probably keep me locked in the house forever if I came home and said I was going on a date with a 22-year-old.  I’m not willing to waste my freedom on some creepy a** guy that wastes his day in a diner hitting on teenage girls.  Move along."
“So don’t tell your parents.”
“Did you not hear me?  I’M NOT INTERESTED!  You’re not my type and you’re too old.  I can’t relate to your lifestyle, and I don’t want to.”
“I know you’re going to change your mind,” he said as he grabbed my hand, kissed it, and walked away.

“Ew,” was all I could say.

Stephanie kept laughing, and a few weeks later, I was dating a 22-year-old guy named Erik, who I tried to help dress better.  He never finished school, in fact, I don’t know what the last grade he accomplished was.  We’d work on long division and multiplication.  I helped him with some reading.  I bought him food when he was unemployed, and I dumped him every time he got too wasted.

It’s really hard to describe why I stayed in this relationship for as many months as I did.  I can honestly say, looking back, I never felt an attachment to him where I’d envision us spending the rest of our lives together and getting married.  Somehow, I managed to form a connection and I felt like I was truly needed by someone.  Of course we had great times together, but the relationship eventually turned into me trying to help him be the best he could in every way.  A few years ago, someone I know ran into him and it sounds like he’s being very productive in his life and is really on a great path.  I’m really, truly happy for him.  This was just another situation where two people from completely different worlds got into a relationship and it didn’t work out.  However, our differences weren’t the only reason we didn’t work out…