Girls with boyfriends just don't get it

I don't understand some guys. OK, total understatement, I don't understand most guys. They'll go around parading their crushes, lust, feelings, or whatever to their friends, but some of them will never have the courage to tell the girl. Now, I totally get shyness. I do. I'm shy, and I'm most likely never going to just walk up to a guy I see at a bar and start a conversation or something...unless I'm in Europe. I'm a totally different person in Europe and when I travel.

There are girls that just don't get it too.  And you'll see what I'm talking about later in this post.

There's this guy, and he tells all these mutual friends how much he likes me and he thinks I'm funny, but then when it comes to hanging out, we never talk. And don't get me wrong, in this scenario I know it's basically a guaranteed thing, so I try to talk to him, but it doesn't really work.

I don't know if I like him or not, which is why I'd like it if we could have a real conversation. But, I am at a loss of what to do next!

I understand his shyness is probably amplified around our friends. We have two friends in common, and when he's invited to hang out they usually talk to him about stuff the three of them all know about, which doesn't include the rest of us. Then, the two friends will talk to the rest of us about stuff that doesn't include him. I don't think they realize they're doing it, and they make an effort to give everyone equal time. But, it's difficult bringing a new person into a group of friends that has so many inside jokes and things they reference.

Anyway, one night I was out with the two friends, their friend, let's call him Kyle, and my friend....Sarah (not her real name, of course!). I was a little nervous this night, I sometimes get really anxious in crowded bars (maybe I'll share all that in another post). It was karaoke night. Everything was going as usual, but I decided I wanted to talk to Kyle a little more tonight to see if I could see myself liking him "like that" and to decide if I wanted to try to pursue a better friendship or something more out of it.

Well, I had briefed Sarah on the entire situation, she's friends with the two guys but hasn't ever met Kyle. Sarah has a boyfriend, and she always has a boyfriend. If she breaks up with a guy she probably is only single for about a month. The current boyfriend I think is a keeper, and they've been together for a super long time now. I'm happy for them, but I don't think she is really in touch with the single life of a 26-year-old young lady like myself.

Finally, I was talking to Kyle. It wasn't a huge deal, it was just about music, and how we hate it when people who actually sing well hog the karaoke spotlight. I am a horrendous singer, and I go up there and belt out some awesome songs, and if there's a cordless mic I'll even dance around the bar. It's a pretty awesome show...assuming I'm not feeling anxious and will actually get up there.

Anyway, We were having a good time, I thought, and Sarah smiled at me when we began talking. It was one of those, "Good job!" smiles, and then about five minutes later she walks up to me and says, "I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Oh...OK," I replied.
"So come with me!"
"Do you really need me to?"

And she smiled and nodded her head.

Let me put this out there: This always happens. She is always like this, and you always have to go with her. Sometimes you think she probably has some juicy gossip for you, but then you get to the bathroom and 90% of the time she legit has to pee and has nothing interesting to add to that.

But, here I am, being naive and thinking that maybe one of the two guys told her that Kyle likes me or something...you know, anything productive to the situation.

Nope. Just had to pee.

We left the bathroom, I was frustrated, and Kyle was in the middle of singing karaoke. When he was finished he came back and got into a deep sports conversation with one of the other guys. I like sports, but, unfortunately they were discussing the only sport I find completely boring: Football. American football, that is, for anyone reading this outside the USA. I do very much enjoy soccer.

So, Sarah and I left.

I wish this guy would just get to it and at least ask for my number or something. But, I guess that's not in the cards yet. Lately I've been trying really hard to believe in fate and destiny and all that jazz, so maybe it's just not our time. Maybe it's still my ridiculously long time to be single. Maybe it's my time to go out and play the field and date a few guys at once, and then I can pick one and not be single any more.

Along the lines of fate and destiny, sometimes I think that maybe I'm supposed to be with someone already in my life, but it's just not the time for us to be together. I don't by any means think I should wait around for "our time," I think I should go on living my life as if I don't know my fate with him already (because obviously I don't know that for sure!). Some day maybe we'll be together, maybe we won't. But, other times, which is most of the time, I think fate and destiny is just a big load of shit when it comes to love.

:-)

Fifty Shades...hmm

I've started reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  There might be some spoilers in this post, so if you are in the process of reading the first book in the series, or if you intend to read it soon, you should probably skip this blog post!

Anyway, I've really been just doing my own thing the past few years when it comes to books.  I didn't get into Harry Potter, in fact, my friend asked if I wanted to go with her to take her little cousin to the movie when it came out, and there was a lot of hype so I went.  I also fell asleep.  No offense, Harry, because I fell asleep in X-Men, too.  I didn't get into Twilight, the books or the movie.  I'm just not into the vampire scene, nor do I care to read about the woes of being in love with one (I think that's what it's about...right?).

I did, however, get into The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and the rest of the Millennium series.  I had tons of Facebook friends recommending it and I immediately bought the first two books (the third wasn't in paperback when I initially went).  I loved them.  So, when a majority of the same friends were talking up The Hunger Games and that series, I fell into the trap.  I bought all three books right away.  I loved them.  Honestly, I didn't think it'd be my cup of tea, and it really had me rethinking whether or not I should go out and buy Twilight, or at least borrow it from someone.  But, I have some stigma against Twilight for no good reason and I'm just not going to do it.  There's plenty other books out there!

So, imagine the trust I have in people when they are talking on Facebook about how great Fifty Shades of Grey is and they just can't put it down.  I looked it up, read the synopsis, and thought, "Yeah, I could potentially like this."  I bought it.  The first one only.  And I'm glad I didn't buy all three.

Let me be fair, I'm only 124 pages into it, so maybe it'll get better.  I don't necessarily like the way E L James writes, but I can look beyond that.  I knew going into this that there would be at on of sex, and I'm not too squeamish about that, but there are just little things that irk me.

Like, Christian Grey, one of the main characters.  Stop being coy and just tell Ana what you're into.  Instead, so far, he's been doing this stupid, "I'm not the right man for you," and "Stay away from me," kind of stuff.  What the hell?  Get over yourself, tell her what you like and what you want from her, and let her decide for herself if you're good for her or if she should run for the hills. 

I'll admit, sometimes he's pretty hot.  I like his self control and I love that he lets Ana know that he wants her, and she's only his, and blah blah blah.  But sometimes it's really creepy.  I didn't realize this lifestyle went outside the bedroom, so when he tells her that she needs to finish all the food on her plate I find that to be less sexy and more like something one of my parents would have said to me when I was six-years-old.

But, it takes all types and maybe that's sexy and hot for some people.  I'm told to not give up on the book yet, and that it gets better and there's some sort of cliff hanger ending that will make me want to buy the second book.  I'm really hoping that's true.  I've never started a book and not finished it, so even if it takes me a while, this book will get read.  I'm just hoping its in a timely manner because I have a ton of other books just waiting for me to read them on a day off!

Anyway, I'm sure people will hate me for having doubts about this book, just like everyone thought I was a wacko for not thinking the movie "Bridesmaids" was funny and worth all the hype.  "The Hangover" was definitely a million times funnier.  But, I digress!

:-)

Sometimes people are frustrating...



It's true!

So, let me put this out there, Jordan and I are just friends.  Sure, I had a little slip up once and told him I had feelings for him.  I didn't think I actually meant it upon further consideration.  I still will never date him again. 

We're friends with benefits.  So what?  Why is that such a big deal?  Let's pretend I knew I had feelings for him, would I tell him?  Absolutely not.  I don't even really care that much.  He recently moved away, and we hung out one night before he left.  It was so much fun, we laughed a ton, and it was just an overall great night.  But on the way home, I found myself really sad that he was leaving.  It almost felt like a break up.

I guess I did have feelings for him, and possibly still do.  But what does it all mean?  I've had some time to think about it, and it means that he's an amazing friend, who I don't want to be without.  Of course we can still talk all the time, he's one of my closest friends.  Having feelings for him changes nothing.  I get a tiny bit jealous when he's seeing someone new, but for the most part I don't care if she's a good person.

I just wish people wouldn't give me advice when I don't ask for it.  Sometimes I just want to say that I'm a little down about something, and let's do something fun to take my mind off it.  There seem to be only two friends that actually let me do that, and they're the ones I've known the longest.  I don't need someone telling me he's not right for me, because I'm not looking to date or marry him.  I just don't want our friendship to change, but I'm rolling with the punches and accepting it.

I know this post is quite rambly, but that's just how my thoughts are right now!  I've got so much going on in my life and I have an extremely busy summer ahead of me, which I have a feeling is bound to get extremely stressful, but I think I'll save all that for my next post :-)

Places to meet men...supposedly

Alright, so I'm finally getting my life together (kind of).  I know what types of careers I'd love to do, I'm applying to jobs nonstop (so I can get out of retail and into a regular career), and I'm puttering away at writing my novel.  The novel part has proven to be a lot more difficult than I expected.  It's based on things that happened in my life, so I thought it'd be easy.  However, I'm adding some fiction to it and changing names alone can be pretty exhausting.  Maybe I'm making too much of it.  I mean, instead of just changing a guy's name to something easy like, "Pete," I think, Well, he doesn't look or act like a Pete.  I'm not totally sure what a "Pete" might look or act like, though.  Anyway, at least I"m putting a ton of thought into it, right?

So, I think I'm finally ready to meet a guy and have a real relationship.  When I started this blog, I intended on dating a lot more than I ended up doing.  I just got busy, and to be totally honest, I wasn't actually ready for a relationship.  I think I am now, and the only way to actually find out is to go for it!  But where do I meet guys?   I'm not the type of girl to just strike up a conversation with a stranger unless I have a question about something and a cute guy just so happens to be around. So, I've been doing a little research (it really only consisted of a Google search "where to meet men" and I read a Cosmo article, which is listed at the end of this post). 

I've discovered that I can find at least one reason, that I think is valid, why I most likely won't meet a guy in any of these places.  But, here goes, places to meet men!

1. The Apple store - Because guys love gadgets and technology and you can easily meet a man there.  OK,  I see what you're saying, and it makes perfect sense.  However, I don't know about everyone else, but the only Apple store near me is terrible.  It always feels like it's 10 million degrees in the store, and it smells kind of funny.  Not like B.O. or anything, but as if every single person that has come in and out of the store has been wearing clothes that haven't been washed.  I don't want to spend time in there if I don't have to.
2. The gym, more specifically, the weight room - I actually think this is a good place, but not for me.  I work out with a trainer at the gym, because Lord knows there is no way I'm just going to voluntarily lift weights and push myself to the extent I need to be pushed.  Cardio is one thing, I like testing my limits, but weights?  No way.  Anyway, when I work out with the trainer, I sometimes see this really, really cute guy.  But I'd probably never talk to him.  What do I say?  You might be thinking, "Start by telling him your name!"  Then what?  If some guy just came up to me and told me his name I'd probably say, "Um, ok," and get back to working out.  When I work out, I don't want to be disturbed or interrupted.
3. A Fortune 500 or tech company - Um, ok.  Who's going to give me a job there???

I know there are plenty of more resources and articles about where to meet men.  A lot suggest online dating, but its just not my thing.  It's really hard to sweep me off my feet on the Internet, especially if you have poor grammar.  Other articles have suggested meeting guys through friends, but that's awkward if it doesn't work out. 

Anyway, I know I'll figure it out, and not in some cheesy way.  It'll happen when it's supposed to happen (at least, that's what I keep telling myself)!

Cosmo article:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/best-places-to-meet-men

High Maintenance Women

High maintenance women seem to be a category of women I love to hate.  I guess I just don't understand these types of women.  One of my friends (a girl) once accused me of being high maintenance for having Coach handbags.  She also said that her boyfriend is lucky he'll never have to buy her one, implying that my boyfriend at the time felt he needed to purchase expensive things for me to keep me happy.  Excuuuuse me?  This is far from the truth.  All my expensive purses have been purchased by no one other than myself and I was really offended that she'd assume something like that about me.  I don't want a boyfriend to buy me expensive things, I don't want anyone to buy me expensive things.  I like getting these things for myself, its kind of like an accomplishment or a reward to myself for something.  Everyone buys themselves designer birthday and Christmas gifts, right?  Even when they really shouldn't spend the money on it?  That's all beside the point. 

High maintenance women confuse me because I don't understand at what point in their lives they became so demanding.  I've heard countless stories from my guy friends about these women, and am thankful that I've never been inclined to do such outlandish things like them.  One of my ex-boyfriends could probably tell you I'm high maintenance, but I really think a simple phone call or a text at some point in a day or two isn't too much to ask for a committed relationship.  Hell, I don't even want to see a boyfriend every day.  Maybe 2-3 times a week, maximum.  But you could at least get in touch with me so I know you still exist!

What baffles me more than the demanding women are the men that actually put up with it.  I don't understand these people.  When a guy friend bitches endlessly about his girlfriend, I think it's probably time to part ways.  I understand, you have feelings for them, maybe you love them, but if you have to complain about their actions behind their backs and can't bring these problems to their attention, then what's the point?  Isn't communication supposed to be the most important part in successful relationships?

Obviously, I'm not one to go around touting relationship advice, since I've never even been in one for an entire year, but I still like to think I have at least a tiny bit of common sense on the topic. 

Example:  One of my friends has this girlfriend, who has, "gotten better," with her demands.  It's a distance thing, and he used to have to lie to her when he was going out with his friends sometimes because (it seemed) she wanted him to stay home if she was staying home a few hours away.  That doesn't make sense to me.  Just go out, do your thing, and text me when you get home to say goodnight or something.  She also doesn't seem to like us very much, she thinks we're mean.  I'll give that one to her, we tease each other nonstop and sometimes it can get a little draining.  But in the end, it's just teasing and she can't take the heat.  There was one time that she was his date to a wedding and we were completely turned off by something she did...every time he said something she found to be a little unacceptable, she'd literally put her hand over his mouth to stop him from talking.  I have a feeling he's himself around us, and someone else around her.  I can promise you that any boyfriend I've ever had in my life thus far would dump me if I pulled something like that.

I guess I'll just have to accept that some guys prefer being bossed around and like giving in to every demand some of these chicks make, but I hope that I never meet such a pushover guy like that.  Shouldn't everything be 50/50?  Equal amounts of give and take on both sides? 

Strippers & Oily Man Butts

Let’s talk about strippers.  You’ve read about them briefly in my post about Shawn, and I’d like to clear the air on my feelings about strippers.

I don’t care if that’s how a woman chooses to make money.

Seriously, I don't.  Strippers have a bad reputation of being dirty and full of diseases.  I’m sure this is very true for a lot of women in this profession, but I’m also sure there are plenty of clean ladies out there that are confident with their bodies and simply make money this way rather than having sex with everyone.  With that being said, I don’t know any clean strippers.  Two girls I’ve gone to school with became strippers, and they were the stereotypical ones, but I still think they’re super nice.

It’s not the girls, it’s the guys.

Bachelor parties, birthday parties, random manly nights, that’s all cool.  Do you hang out at a strip club on a regular basis?  Because I don’t think that’s cool.  It's not the strippers, they're just doing their jobs.  But if you go to a strip club often, I think you’re dirty, trashy, and kind of weird.  I mean, really, if you have to spend that much time in a strip club it makes me think you are desperate for attention and have no game with regular ladies.  Plus, if you’re my boyfriend, I’d rather have you cherish my body because I work really hard to keep it looking good.  I’ll gladly worship your body in return.

Guys tend to fall for the mind games.

A lot of you really, really do.  Strippers aim to keep you company and have good conversation with you, it’s their job.  I can’t tell you how many guys I know that went to a strip club for whatever reason, and swore up and down that one of the girls was seriously into them.   Does it matter?  Did you get her number?  Did you give her your number and she called you?  If you answered “no” to these last two questions, she wasn’t seriously into you.  That may be difficult for you to deal with, but it’s the truth.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's totally fine for you to get swept up in the fantasy of "This hot chick wants me," while it's happening.  However, when you walk out that door and go home, you should be back to reality rather than bragging to all your buddies that a stripper wants to be with you.  Unless, of course, you talk to her outside of the club (as stated above).

I’ve been to a male strip show.

My friend and I were in Las Vegas and went to see Thunder from Down Under.  We bought our tickets earlier that day, thought it’d be a funny thing to do, and got dressed up to sit at a bar outside the show area to have a few drinks.  Neither of us had been to one of these shows, so we weren’t quite sure what to expect.

We got in the show room, and there were a bunch of long tables set up with your assigned seats, a stage in the front, and a bar in the back.  We took our seats, got a few more drinks, and waited for the show.  We were all giggles, like your typical drunk girls, and the men came out on stage.  Yes, they were hot (except for the one with the long hair that looked really greasy when he started sweating).  Yes, they were tan.  Yes, they were ripped.

They were on stage performing as different men from typical female fantasies: the firefighter, the police officer, the construction worker, the guy in a tux…..the mail man?  Ok, I’ve never fantasized about a mail man before, but now we all have a new idea.  They would dance, pull a random girl on stage and grind on her (that was a little sexy, I’ll admit it), strip down to their g-strings and a hat, and then come out and dance on your table or grind on you too.  I’ve never been too fond of a man that wears a thong.

My friend and I were laughing hysterically when the first guy got to our table and was dancing on top of it.  We snickered at the ladies that were unbelievably into it, and then it happened.  He waltzed his way over to our end of the table and danced in front of us.  My laughter stopped, because now I have an oiled up mail-man-in-thong ass shaking in my face.  I had no idea what I was supposed to do about this, and I grabbed my drink and started sucking it down while leaning back in my chair away from the oily butt.  That was not hot for me.  I don’t want a man ass in my face.  Sorry boys. 

*Note* I did consider spanking him to be funny, but I was scared of what he’d do to me if I did.  We did get our pictures and thongs autographed by them at the end of the show, though.

Why some guys want to date strippers is out of my realm of comprehension.

It’s always nice when other people think your mate is good looking, but when they take off their clothes and everyone sees what you see, it’s not really that special any more, is it?  I know I wouldn’t like my boyfriend stripping down to his g-string and oiling up his ass for a bunch of other chicks.  However, if I found out my boyfriend wore a g-string or oiled up his ass just for fun, I’d probably dump him anyway.  Even if no one else saw it.  Unless it was a funny prank or a Halloween costume or something.  I can appreciate that.

Some guys create a double standard.

Once, I was hanging out with Shawn, one of his friends, and his girlfriend.  The Girlfriend brought up that she had a slight issue with them going to the strip club later that night.  I found it to be a valid complaint, she had been out of town and the guys weren't going there for any specific reason, she obviously wanted to spend time with The Boyfriend after a week of being away.  The Boyfriend said, "Well, you guys are more than welcome to come with."  The Girlfriend said something along the lines of she had been there before and didn't have much fun because none of the other guys appreciated that a girlfriend tagged along.  Valid once again, I'm sure guys don't like it when you bring the old lady to watch strippers with you! 

The Girlfriend then said that there was a male strip show later that night and we could go and she would get a few other girls to come with (mind you, I did not yet have the Vegas experience described above).  Shawn and The Boyfriend both said no way, it's different for girls to go watch guys dance around.  They never said we weren't allowed to go, but they got little whiny attitudes and reminded me of a set of toddlers.

How is it different?  They never gave us an answer other than, "It just is."  

 

What baffles me the most is an ex once asked if I cared if he went out to dinner at Hooters, but didn’t ask if I cared about frequenting strip clubs.  I don’t really care about Hooters, other than the fact that I think the uniforms could use a little updating.  Those orange shorts shouldn’t be worn by just anyone.  Yikes.

What about those guys that have to lie to their girlfriends about going to strip clubs?  Those guys annoy me too.  Really, if you have to lie about your whereabouts, no matter where you are, you shouldn’t be dating that girl anyway.  If you’re constantly at the strip club, maybe she should reconsider dating you.  At least, I would.

I understand why a lot of girls don't like guys going to strip clubs.  Like I said earlier, we want you to appreciate our bodies instead of looking at a bunch of other topless or fully naked girls.  A lot of women get insecure when you're out tipping other chicks, and I'm not going to lie, I'm one of them.  But if you demonstrate your love for my body, I'm totally cool with you having a random guys' night out and every now and then ending up at a strip club.  If you come home with a funny story, I care even less!

Maybe I need to stop dating guys from smaller towns, it seems like there's not much to do other than these local clubs.  At least, that's how they make it seem.  I feel like guys in the city are more creative with how they spend their free time, and since I live in the city I should start keeping an eye out!

She's the Boss?

Today's blog is by my first guest blogger, M-. 

Emma mentioned to me earlier in the week that recently, she noticed a lot of her guy friends were quickly becoming involved with very domineering women (at least, on the relationship side of things - I don't think she can speak to what happens in the bedroom), and wondered what my thoughts were on the situation.

My response?

It's an epidemic.

I've been noticing it quite a bit myself - in fact, one of my best friends (we call him NorthSide on my blog) is involved in just that type of relationship.  He's since moved in with the girl (or, more aptly, she moved in with him, since he pays for the apartment himself) and has taken to adhering to her every whim (which are frequent and often absolutely crazy).  For instance, she has to get up at 6:30 in the morning and go to work, but she will not do so unless he gets up with her (this girl is 23, mind you, and he doesn't have to be at work until 9).  Otherwise, she threatens to quit her job.  He's no longer allowed to come out on the town with anyone (me especially; candidcupid readers know why) and the one time he did, she went on an especially tyrannical rampage that ended with her trying to make the cab company he had called the night before (the only number she didn't recognize in his phone, which she went through in the middle of the night) admit they were in fact a girl he had hooked up with. 

Seriously.

I don't know what the draw is.  Yes, she's semi-attractive and I'm sure she's...generous...with her physical affection, but it's nothing compared to all the negative.  She hates me for some obvious (and not so obvious) reasons, first and foremost of which is that I, quite frankly, won't put up with anything of the sort.  Don't get me wrong; I'm far from a misogynist.  I certainly don't want to be in charge.  The idea that there has to be a sense of "control" in a relationship is preposterous to begin with, but if you're into that sort of thing A) loosen the hell up and B) make sure you see each other as equals.  I refuse to be led around by the proverbial brass ring in the nose.  I'm sure quite a few females (especially after reading my blog) would be quick to say it's because of my "playboy" lifestyle, but that's little more than a throwaway label. As I mentioned before, it isn't that I'm against my lack of control, I just don't see a reason for any in general.  There are, of course, lines and boundaries that have to be respected.  I remember a particularly drawn-out fight I had with an old girlfriend when she wanted to go to a fraternity Halloween party. 

As a "slutty" Indiana Jones.

And as one of two girls who would be there, the other of which was her best friend (and career sorostitute.  Urbandictionary it, kids).

I said "no." 

The resulting argument was long and drawn out, and ended in tears (hers, not mine), but ultimately, she ended up not going.  Similarly, another girlfriend I had requested that I avoid a certain downtown venue where one of her friends tended bar.  She said the girl had made it a habit to make a pass at every boyfriend she'd had since sixth grade (how this made her a "friend" I'll never know) and that she had a particularly keen eye for me (and just so happened, what with her dark brown hair, darker brown eyes, and phenomenal figure, to be just my type).  And respected her wishes (until we broke up, that is.  And yes, before you ask, I did.  Sue me). 

There is no room for this sort of thing in the bella vita. 

Drink some wine.  Make some love.  Enjoy each other for who you are.

You'd be amazed how everything else just seems to fall right into place.

M-

(Care to read more of M's musing?  Then check out his blog over at  http://candidcupid.wordpress.com/ or follow him on Twitter)

Creepers

OK, so there are tons of creepy guys out there, and I'm aware there's probably an equal amount of creepy girls.  I recently (last night) had a horribly creepy situation at a gas station.  Before I get to that, let's rewind to a few years ago so you understand why I hate gas stations at night.

Working in retail means I'm at the store until 9PM or later.  On this particular night, I was leaving pretty late and stopped to get gas and cigarettes on the way home.  I finished getting gas, walked inside to purchase cigarettes, finished the transaction and walked back to my car.  I was minding my own business the entire time.  On my way back to the car, this man started shouting, "Hey!  Hey!  Hey!" and I ignored him, just to hear more, "HEY! HEY! HEY!" getting louder and louder.  I finally got to my car and he was right behind me.  This was too much for me.  He said, "Hey, pretty girl, I just want to know your name!"  I stood there and waited for him to back off, which he thankfully did.  He said, "OK, fine, but I think we should go out some time," and I replied, "I don't think so," and reached for the car door.  As I reached for the handle, he took a step forward and I put my hand up and said, "I swear, if you get one inch closer to me I'm going to either scream or put my stiletto where it hurts."  This seemed to be effective and he sulked away.

Why would I go out with someone that was persistent to the point of creepy?  I'm all about guys that put in a lot of effort, but take a hint.  Also, I don't respond to "HEY! HEY! HEY!"  a simple, "Excuse me, miss," would have probably gotten a better response from me.  Oh, and at another gas station I was once called "sugar tits."  And on a totally separate occasion, I saw a man fondling himself at a gas station.  I hope these are isolated incidents, but let's speed things up to present day.  Or last night.

Once again, I'm on my way home from work and I need gas.  I had just started filling up when a car pulled up to the pump behind me, on the other side.  I was simply leaning against my car staring at how many gallons were left to go, when I got that weird feeling of being watched.  So I looked over at the other car and there were three guys.  One was sitting in the back seat and two were walking into the gas station.  The one in the back seat was staring at me.  I thought it was weird so I resumed staring at how much money I was spending to fill up the tank.  Except, I couldn't focus on it because I still felt like he was staring at me.  I looked over again and he was staring and smiling.  Then, one of the other guys came back to the car, folded his arms in front of him on the hood, rested his chin on his arms, and also stared at me.  He never smiled.

Suddenly, my pump clicked, and I thanked God for letting me get the hell out of there.  Seriously, what was the deal?  I've compiled a list of things guys, or anyone really, can do or avoid to make sure they aren't being creepers.

1. Don't stare.  Yes, it's nice to know you think we're cute.  You can accomplish that with a quick glance and/or smile.  If you've been looking for 30 seconds or more, non-stop, you seriously need to reconsider your creeper level and realize this person is probably not interested anymore.
2. Don't shout.  If you yell, "HEY!  HEY!  HEY!" I might not even know you're talking to me.  It's also pretty rude, and it makes you look like a jerk.  Oh, and it's annoying.
3. Take a hint.  Along with numbers 1 and 2, if someone doesn't respond to your staring or shouting, back off.  There's no shame in quitting the pursuit with someone clearly not interested.  You actually look more ridiculous when you keep trying.
4. Don't underestimate basic compliments.  So you've gotten past the staring stage, and you would rather talk to a girl than shout, you can say something simple like, "I think you're really pretty."  You don't have to try to get any more specific or creative.  Once, this dude walked up to me in a loud bar and said into my ear, "Hey!  I like your face!"  I didn't want to be totally rude or anything, so I said, "Thanks.  Have a good night!" and steered my friends to a different area of the bar.
5. If it hasn't worked on someone yet, it probably never will.  If your line or strategy does nothing but strike you out, you need to come up with some new material.  Simplicity is key, cheesy pick up lines are only out there to be laughed at.

If you still have a problem with being a creeper, then maybe you should just stay at home and watch TV or read or something.  Because I'm sick of encountering you...even if I do get a good laugh out of the situation later.

Europe 2004: Paris

The guys in Paris were nothing to brag about.  Don’t get me wrong, some of them were gorgeous, but Paris wasn’t what I was expecting.  I think my favorite memory of Paris was sitting in a café in Monmartre with one of the girls, she was sketching and I was writing.  It felt like we were recreating history, this is where famous artists and poets came for inspiration.  We were rudely interrupted by a group of guys asking if we’d like to learn how to French kiss.  Shut the front door!  They actually asked that!  We politely said we already knew how, and ignored them.  After taking a picture, of course.

The last night in Paris we were supposed to have dinner and then go to the Eiffel Tower to see the City of Lights from the top.  We were sharing a large room, and the four of us bought a few bottles of wine.  We sat in a circle, reminiscing about high school and how we were all from different groups and cliques, but here we were in Europe together.  After four girls consumed five bottles of some shitty red wine, one girl leaned over and just started throwing up.  We were obviously amateurs.  Once again, a chain reaction.  Our room was full of vomit and red vomit stained towels, and we were going to be late for dinner if we didn’t leave now.  We grabbed a bunch of plastic bags, dumped out the souvenirs, and headed for the subway.  Being drunk and figuring out the Paris metro is not a good idea.  We got lost (a common theme on that trip), ended up in what I can only imagine is a horrible neighborhood, full of strip clubs, porn stores, and middle aged, overweight hookers in fishnets winking at us.  I think I threw up everything I ate the whole trip in that street, but at least it got that group of dirty looking guys to leave us alone. 

We made it to dinner, all four of us still sick. We said we ate some bad cheese at lunch and no one believed us. 

Happenings at Your Local Grocery Store

I had a high school job at a grocery store.  I had the exciting duty of bagging up all your groceries after the cashier scanned them.  I never understood why I wasn't good enough to push UPCs across some red beams, but I dealt with it.

Typically, the baggers would just move back and forth between registers with long lines.  Sometimes, if a cashier noticed his or her line was getting really long, they'd call over for help.  Well, out of all four baggers working this day, I was called over to another register.  I got there only to find an elderly couple and one lady behind them.  I didn't think anything of it, the elderly couple had a lot of stuff so maybe that was why this guy called me to his register.

I had talked with this guy before.  The store was short on lockers for employees so he gave me the combination to his in case I wanted to put my purse in it.  Now, being 25, I would probably not do that.  however, at age 17 I didn't really care since the contents of my purse was makeup.  I always put any cash and my driver's license in my pocket while I was working.

So, this guy kept scanning things and sending them my way to be bagged.  I picked up a carton of ice cream and it had a piece of paper on top of it, I picked it off and was about to give it to the man or woman in the couple, but it was written with a black sharpie so I couldn't help reading it.

You're hot.  What's your number?

Whoa.  Did this old man send me this note on top of his mint chocolate chip ice cream?  I just stared at it for a while, while the cashier stared at me.  Finally, I looked up and understood the note was from him.  I didn't really like the cheesy way he went about this, so I crumpled up the note and threw it at his head and said, "Oops!  Sorry!"

He never called me over to his register again.  Oh well.

Introduction

Yesterday was my 25th birthday.  At first, I felt pretty intimidated by this.  When I graduated from college in 2008 I saw my life being in a completely different place by now.  i imagined I'd be in a career, a "big girl job," if you will.  Instead, I'm the assistant manager at a retail store.  Don't get me wrong, I do love and enjoy my job (most days), but I expected to be doing bigger things.

I've done a lot so far, I did study abroad programs, completed an internship in Italy, I've been to 9 different countries, and I've traveled a little here in the USA.  I have a lot of goals and big dreams, and I intend on achieving them all, or at least trying everything I can to get there...because if I don't at least try my hardest, what's the point in dreaming at all?

I also expected to maybe have a steady boyfriend by now.  I've never been in a relationship that has lasted a full year, and a lot of times I think I never will.  I've never actually been in love.  Aside from what I see on TV, in movies, or read in books, I have no idea what that's even like.  In college I had a lot of fun, but after that I expected to settle down and find a guy I could seriously see a future with.  I have definitely had my heart broken, which I don't quite understand since I've never been in love.

So what's wrong with me?  I don't know, but I have a feeling it has a lot to do with the guys I choose to date.  I decided to blog about it to help me figure it all out, and I'll start with telling the stories of all my relationships, or other male encounters, starting with my first kiss.  I'll also throw in things from my every day life, along with family, friendships, work stuff, etc.

Feel free to comment and share this blog with your friends; maybe my weird stories will help someone out, or maybe you can give me some advice!